


Sorry

by xspike4evax



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, First Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 00:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4939705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xspike4evax/pseuds/xspike4evax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having returned for the seventh year of Hogwarts after the war Draco Malfoy wishes he could be man enough to apologise to Luna Lovegood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the song Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Blue & Elton John

_ What I got to do to make you love me? _ _  
_What I got to do to make you care?_ _   
  
His smoky grey eyes watched her across the crowded dance floor of the Great Hall. It didn’t seem to matter how many people twirled in front of him he still saw her, standing off to the side laughing at something Ron Weasley had said.   
  
_What do I do when lightning strikes me?_ _  
_And I wake to find that you're not there?__   
  
Her dirty, blonde hair hung loose and free down her back, and the silver robes she wore glittered in the flames from the candle. Her head was thrown back as she laughed; and she looked so carefree and happy that he ached inside knowing he was not the cause of her joy.   
  
_What I got to do to make you want me?_ _  
_What I got to do to be heard?__  
  
  
Draco would never have thought that Luna Lovegood would have been the one to bring him back into the world again. After the war there was a lot of anger, hate and distrust aimed at him and his family; but for some unknown reason Luna had been the one to protect him. She had stood up for him, insisted that Potter back off from him and allow him the chance to relive his life.   
  
_What do I say when it's all over?_ _  
_Sorry seems to be the hardest word.__   
  
He had resented her intrusion at first, she was still Loony Lovegood to him at that point and he had found it rather humiliating having her of all people come to his rescue. He had always assumed she was a weak and frail person due to her constant dreaminess, but he had been forced to admit he was wrong. Luna Lovegood was strong. She fought for what she believed in, ideas and people, and for some reason she had believed in him.   
  
Luna had rescued him and his family from total isolation. When he had returned to Hogwarts as Potter and the others had, she had been the one to stand in front of him and stop all the whispers, all the comments and all the jinxes that were sure to come his way.   
  
_It's sad, so sad_ _  
_It's a sad, sad situation.__   
  
Draco had found it annoying, and had lost his temper on a number of occasions during the first few months at school having Loony Lovegood tagging along behind him everywhere he went. But, no matter what he had said to her, Luna had remained firm. She had been the one to stand in the small cracks of the doors that were now shutting on him and with her quiet gentleness had pushed them back open again.   
  
_And it's getting more and more absurd._  
  
She was the one who, with soft insistence had prodded him into making public appearances at the library, at Hogsmead and everywhere else he used to go. Luna had been the one thing standing between the Malfoy’s and social ruin for good.   
  
_It's sad, so sad_ _  
_Why can't we talk it over?__   
  
Draco smiled softly when he remembered asking her why? Why did she waste time on him, a lost cause? Why did she risk the anger of her friends and everyone else at Hogwarts for his reputation?   
  
Luna had simply smiled easily at him, she had laughed softly as if he had asked the funniest question. “Because those who need help the most are usually too proud to ask for it.”   
  
He had scowled at her response, “I don’t need your help. I never needed your help. Why don’t you leave me alone?”   
  
Luna had tilted her head to the side a little, her eyes had widened at his harsh tone and she had looked quite hurt. “You need a friend Draco, I’m just being a friend.”   
  
Draco snorted. “Friend? You? Don’t be an idiot, no matter what happens or what has happened, you’ll always be a loony blood traitor.”   
  
He had regretted the words as soon as they had passed his lips. He still didn’t know what had possessed him to say them; to speak to her so cruelly, so coldly, as if she was nothing to him.   
  
_Oh it seems to me_ _  
_That sorry seems to be the hardest word.__   
  
Tears had welled in her eyes and he had felt a dull throbbing in his chest at the distraught look on her face. But he hadn’t been able to get his voice working again to apologise to her; and that had annoyed him. Why did he feel the need to apologise to her? He had never asked her for her help, she had been the one to stick her nose into his business.   
  
She hadn’t been quick enough to turn away from him before the first of the tears had fallen onto her cheek. Draco had felt the urge to reach out to her, to try to make it better, but he had never done that before and he didn’t know how. So he had just stood there and allowed her to walk away; all the while telling himself it was for the best because, as he had said, she was a blood traitor and that made her inferior to him.  
  
_What do I do to make you want me?_ _  
_What I got to do to be heard?__   
  
Once she had disappeared from his daily routine Draco had missed her. He had found himself scanning the corridors, his eyes darting around any room he entered looking for her, but whenever he saw her she turned away. She didn’t look at him anymore, she didn’t attempt to speak to him or communicate with him in anyway.   
  
_What do I say when it's all over?_   
  
This new icy treatment from her had cut him deeper than he had at first cared to admit to himself. He had assumed that after a few days, once she had calmed down and huffed to herself over his insensitive words that she would just turn up at his elbow one morning and start her aimless chattering.   
  
But she didn’t. Luna kept her distance from him and Draco had finally come to the conclusion that she was not going to forgive his outburst very easily. He wasn’t a stupid boy, not really, he knew what he had to do, knew what he should say to her. But apologises were not in his nature as a Malfoy and he wasn’t sure how to go about it.   
  
_Sorry seems to be the hardest word._  
  
Sighing heavily Draco ran a hand through his platinum blonde hair, he usually wore it in floppy strands over his forehead these days, Luna had once told him that she preferred it that way.   
  
_It's sad, so sad_ _  
_It's a sad, sad situation.__   
  
The music from the Christmas Ball and Pansy’s inane chattering at his side slowly began to dissolve away from him. Everything faded into the background as his eyes focused only on her, only Luna, who was still stood across the room from him, surrounded by her friends as she usually was.   
  
_And it's getting more and more absurd._   
  
It had taken Draco a very long time to admit even to himself what had been staring him in the face for such a long time. The one thing that had the power to change his life completely if he had opened his eyes to what was there; the reason Luna had been so upset over his treatment of her, the reason she had cut herself off from him so quickly and neatly.   
  
_It's sad, so sad_ _  
_Why can't we talk it over?__   
  
The very same reason that he found himself lying awake in the darkness of the Slytherin dormitories listening to Goyle’s snoring and Zabini’s mutterings. It wasn’t just her, it was him as well. He had feelings for her too, but he had been blind to them and recognised them only when it was too late; and Draco wasn’t capable of making everything better.   
  
_Oh it seems to me_ _  
_That sorry seems to be the hardest word.__  
  
Luna was a sweet and gentle person, she was good to people no matter what they said or did to her. But he knew his words and hurt her deeply, had wounded her more than all the rest of the teasing she’d had to endure put together. He was the exact opposite to her in every single way; perhaps he had in actual fact read the whole situation wrong. Luna Lovegood couldn’t possibly have feelings towards him, Draco had no idea how to even start to steer her thinking in that direction.   
  
_What I got to do to make you love me?_   
  
But just supposing he hadn’t read it wrong, just suppose she did. How did he change them? How did he make them stronger?   
  
Even if he did have a plan Luna wasn’t speaking to him. She had made that abundantly clear. She never looked at him unless it was unavoidable. How could he even begin to try to talk her around if she wouldn’t listen to him?   
  
_What I got to do to be heard?_   
  
Draco did want to talk her round, he wanted to say or do something to get her back in his life. Once she was there he could put his Slytherin sneakiness to good use and think of a way to get her to openly admit to whatever it was that she might be feeling for him.   
  
_What do I do when lightning strikes me?_ _  
_What have I got to do?_  
_What have I got to do?__   
  
Draco’s stomach collapsed down to his toes as he watched her head to the dance floor with Potter. They joined Weasley and Granger who were dancing with Longbottom and Ginny Weasley. He knew what he had to do. Draco knew exactly what he had to say to her to get her talking to him again; but he couldn’t will himself to move from his spot and go and do it.   
  
The urge to say it burned fiercely inside him, he wanted to do it, he really did, he wanted to be the person that Luna had told him he was. Someone good, someone who had made a mistake and was doing everything possible to right that mistake.   
  
But he couldn’t force himself to move, to go and right this one huge mistake that he had made. His apology was formed nicely in his head, he had a speech all worked out. Draco sighed heavily, he knew he would never use it, he wasn’t brave enough to do the right thing, to turn his back on what he had grown up with; the Malfoy name, the Malfoy pride.   
  
Draco knew he would regret it. In later life he would kick himself for being weak when the moment had come to be a man and stop shrinking away from his difficult tasks. But he couldn’t do the hard stuff, the character building things, he just couldn’t do it.   
  
__Sorry seems to be the hardest word.


End file.
